Failure and Recovery

I witnessed dismal failure last night.  Anyone who knows me is probably thinking I am referring to the 49er vs NYC matchup, but I'm not.  There are parallels but I am speaking about attitude.

The way we recover from failures is what makes us who we are.  Last night I could have gone on a drunken binge cause God knows it would have been completely justified, but I didn't.  I held my head up high and rocked niner jersey and will continue to rock it because that is who I am.  I realized that life is about choices and the ones we make can either make us or break us.

We don't have to live with our bad choices we can change them at any time it's never too late.  I learned that from watching the niners last week when they beat the Saints, we were down and there was only one minute left to play they could have folded and walked away with their tails between their legs and said, "I done." but they didn't they kept trying and we won.  That game for me was the superbowl.  We are NFC West Champions no matter what and that can't be taken away from us, but I am digressing because I'm not here to talk about football it's just that the anologies are there and I can't help but make some comparisons, bear with me.

Choosing to be defeated by the cards life deals us is the saddest situation we can get ourselves into.  If we sit here and say oh I can't cause I lost my job, my boyfriend /girlfriend won't let me, I don't have time, money, experience etc are all excuses for not doing something with your life.  We are created with a wealth of gifts and when we can go so far, but we choose not to. 

I always sing that song from the old school Xmas shows that goes, " put one foot in front of the other and soon you are walking out the door."  That's life inaction creates more inaction, but action simple action like putting one foot in front of the other creates something.  You never know what is out that door, but you gotta get there.  My life has been a series of sitting in the sidelines and then choosing to run full speed.  I acknowledge my break periods and I choose to do them and I accept the responsibility for what happens when I'm not doing anything.  Like gaining weight or vegging out on soaps, football and old movies.   I accept my failures and do not mask them but it is how I recover from them that makes me who I am. 

I have a lifetime to recover from a few or maybe not, but I am not going to let it get to me  I have seen what happens when people tell you how to live your life.  It destroys the most advantageous prospects and leaves them inactive and dismal.  The slow descent to hell is paved with good intentions of others but if you don't use the backbone god gave you and say wait, this is not working for me because I'm miserable and I'm eating and or drinking myself to death because I don't see another way out.  There is another way out, but you have to put one foot in front of the other and take that first step.  It may be the hardest one in your life but do it, for the love of God do it!!!

Then and only then can you see that it's not over til the fat lady sings.  You can score that killer touchdown, march down that field and win in the game of life and hold your head up high and say I did this, I kicked that shit to the curb and I am taking back my life and moving where I know it needs to be. Good things come to good people, but good people need to stop being so damn good to everyone else and be good to themselves sometimes.  I know that has been my hardest lesson and when I get out of current down time which I am happily in right now, I am going to rock my shit all over this place, but on my time and on my terms.