That's what I keep hearing, your expectations are unreasonable, you are being unreasonable. You expect too much and you expect it to fast. WTF??? I do not believe I am being unreasonable when I ask for information, is it unreasonable to expect a straight answer? If you don't know just say so. I don't know and I don't have the time to get you the information you need. I am busy right now, take care of it yourself. Simple, right? Aparently, not in my world.
In my world I am expected to know all these things are going on telepathically, or just by magic. I know I'm awesome, but not that awesome. I am supposed to know someone is running while texting, who does that? Or driving while texting, isn't that against the law? Again, a simple statement that can wait until you stop running and driving instead of answering me, like nothing else is going on. How in god's name am I supposed to know that???
Then to top it off, after I think I have said everything I needed to say, like when I get home I will take care of it, I'm supposed to text and let you know. Didn't I just get reamed out for texting too much, but in actuality I am in trouble for not texting more information at this point my head explodes and it can be heard around the block.
Texting has it's advantages, when i was a teenager I would have loved to have had text. Because i would have texted my mom, I'm fine at the movies with friends instead of calling from a payphone and trying to sound casual as my friends are hooting and hollering in the car with the music blasting and booze bottles crashing in the background. It was hard to sound casual with all that stuff going on, so I always got busted, because I was a conscientious kid, who always phoned my mom so she wouldn't worry. My kids are not conscientious at all, they could give a rat's tail to inform me that oh i won't be home when you get home cause I'm going out or whatever. The husband/Father who is here with them in the morning could ask the simple question, What are you guys up to today, in case your mom calls me and wants to know. NOOOOO, this doesn't happen in my world. In my world I am out at the crack of dawn and get back to an empty house no notes, no text, no phone calls, no nothing. So I sent out a little text hours go by no one responds and when they finally do, oh my phone didn't have no signal or I forgot to turn it back on, whatever.
This is why I am unreasonable for this simple act of caring. I am going to turn off my phone or leave it on the sidewalk and just walk away from the electronic leash let them try to find me for a change, without a phone i won't look at the time, won't wonder why no calls or texts me, i will save 50.00 dollars a month. Once i start saving money like that i will turn off the satelite because no one is home anyway, they are all out and about in their lives, I'm the only ditz who comes home to watch tv by myself since it is the only thing that is waiting for me when I get home. That will save me a few 100.00 a month. So let's see if I save 150.00 a month, I can save up for a vacation. Which I will probably end up taking alone since I can never find anyone to let them know what's going on in my world.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Failure and Recovery
I witnessed dismal failure last night. Anyone who knows me is probably thinking I am referring to the 49er vs NYC matchup, but I'm not. There are parallels but I am speaking about attitude.
The way we recover from failures is what makes us who we are. Last night I could have gone on a drunken binge cause God knows it would have been completely justified, but I didn't. I held my head up high and rocked niner jersey and will continue to rock it because that is who I am. I realized that life is about choices and the ones we make can either make us or break us.
We don't have to live with our bad choices we can change them at any time it's never too late. I learned that from watching the niners last week when they beat the Saints, we were down and there was only one minute left to play they could have folded and walked away with their tails between their legs and said, "I done." but they didn't they kept trying and we won. That game for me was the superbowl. We are NFC West Champions no matter what and that can't be taken away from us, but I am digressing because I'm not here to talk about football it's just that the anologies are there and I can't help but make some comparisons, bear with me.
Choosing to be defeated by the cards life deals us is the saddest situation we can get ourselves into. If we sit here and say oh I can't cause I lost my job, my boyfriend /girlfriend won't let me, I don't have time, money, experience etc are all excuses for not doing something with your life. We are created with a wealth of gifts and when we can go so far, but we choose not to.
I always sing that song from the old school Xmas shows that goes, " put one foot in front of the other and soon you are walking out the door." That's life inaction creates more inaction, but action simple action like putting one foot in front of the other creates something. You never know what is out that door, but you gotta get there. My life has been a series of sitting in the sidelines and then choosing to run full speed. I acknowledge my break periods and I choose to do them and I accept the responsibility for what happens when I'm not doing anything. Like gaining weight or vegging out on soaps, football and old movies. I accept my failures and do not mask them but it is how I recover from them that makes me who I am.
I have a lifetime to recover from a few or maybe not, but I am not going to let it get to me I have seen what happens when people tell you how to live your life. It destroys the most advantageous prospects and leaves them inactive and dismal. The slow descent to hell is paved with good intentions of others but if you don't use the backbone god gave you and say wait, this is not working for me because I'm miserable and I'm eating and or drinking myself to death because I don't see another way out. There is another way out, but you have to put one foot in front of the other and take that first step. It may be the hardest one in your life but do it, for the love of God do it!!!
Then and only then can you see that it's not over til the fat lady sings. You can score that killer touchdown, march down that field and win in the game of life and hold your head up high and say I did this, I kicked that shit to the curb and I am taking back my life and moving where I know it needs to be. Good things come to good people, but good people need to stop being so damn good to everyone else and be good to themselves sometimes. I know that has been my hardest lesson and when I get out of current down time which I am happily in right now, I am going to rock my shit all over this place, but on my time and on my terms.
The way we recover from failures is what makes us who we are. Last night I could have gone on a drunken binge cause God knows it would have been completely justified, but I didn't. I held my head up high and rocked niner jersey and will continue to rock it because that is who I am. I realized that life is about choices and the ones we make can either make us or break us.
We don't have to live with our bad choices we can change them at any time it's never too late. I learned that from watching the niners last week when they beat the Saints, we were down and there was only one minute left to play they could have folded and walked away with their tails between their legs and said, "I done." but they didn't they kept trying and we won. That game for me was the superbowl. We are NFC West Champions no matter what and that can't be taken away from us, but I am digressing because I'm not here to talk about football it's just that the anologies are there and I can't help but make some comparisons, bear with me.
Choosing to be defeated by the cards life deals us is the saddest situation we can get ourselves into. If we sit here and say oh I can't cause I lost my job, my boyfriend /girlfriend won't let me, I don't have time, money, experience etc are all excuses for not doing something with your life. We are created with a wealth of gifts and when we can go so far, but we choose not to.
I always sing that song from the old school Xmas shows that goes, " put one foot in front of the other and soon you are walking out the door." That's life inaction creates more inaction, but action simple action like putting one foot in front of the other creates something. You never know what is out that door, but you gotta get there. My life has been a series of sitting in the sidelines and then choosing to run full speed. I acknowledge my break periods and I choose to do them and I accept the responsibility for what happens when I'm not doing anything. Like gaining weight or vegging out on soaps, football and old movies. I accept my failures and do not mask them but it is how I recover from them that makes me who I am.
I have a lifetime to recover from a few or maybe not, but I am not going to let it get to me I have seen what happens when people tell you how to live your life. It destroys the most advantageous prospects and leaves them inactive and dismal. The slow descent to hell is paved with good intentions of others but if you don't use the backbone god gave you and say wait, this is not working for me because I'm miserable and I'm eating and or drinking myself to death because I don't see another way out. There is another way out, but you have to put one foot in front of the other and take that first step. It may be the hardest one in your life but do it, for the love of God do it!!!
Then and only then can you see that it's not over til the fat lady sings. You can score that killer touchdown, march down that field and win in the game of life and hold your head up high and say I did this, I kicked that shit to the curb and I am taking back my life and moving where I know it needs to be. Good things come to good people, but good people need to stop being so damn good to everyone else and be good to themselves sometimes. I know that has been my hardest lesson and when I get out of current down time which I am happily in right now, I am going to rock my shit all over this place, but on my time and on my terms.
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